November 25- Enough Is Enough

It's Thanksgiving Day, and it's supposed to be a time to gather with family around the table with everyone taking turns saying what they are thankful for. Notice I said "supposed to be." I say that for two reasons. One, I don't have any true family anymore. The state of Louisiana along with some ill choices of my birth mother and father saw to that from the very beginning. Then, the family that is legally my family by law now due to adoption only added to that pain by physically abusing me and neglecting to stand up for me to save me from the physical abuse. Even my own sister by blood who was adopted with me refused to speak up and stand by me in making sure that man paid for trying to kill me that one dreadful day that had she not stopped him, he would have succeeded. Because of all of that, they are nor ever was family to me. My birth father may be my father by blood, but by law he no longer is, so he is not my family either. My so-called "uncle", Leonie Aucoin , has made it perfectly clear to me that he is no longer my uncle since his divorce from my birth mother's sister, so strike another family out of the picture with the loss of him and his family considering me as part of them.
Next, we come to "my?" daughter. When it comes to "my?" daughter, I can't consider her family even though her mother claims she is of my blood because her mother refuses to let me have anything to do with her. At first, I thought nothing of it because it started with her mother always coming down on me whenever I tried to help with both her and my son. Her mother always was one to try and control how both kids would be raised even with Austin not being her son by blood, and every time I tried to help, she would tell me how to raise them whether it was telling me what I should be doing or telling me what I should not do. Now, however, with her refusing me every time I ask to have "my?" daughter come over to my house and stay with me every other weekend at least and also not letting me help in any way with raising my so-called daughter, I am beginning to wonder if this girl she has with her is actually MY daughter. How can I ever consider her mine, if her mother refuses to let me bond with her in any way, shape, or form? How can I bond at all with her in just the few times her mother brings her over when coming to pick Austin up for the weekend and dropping him off after the weekend is over and leaving as soon as she has Austin aside from the ONE or TWO times her mother came and actually stayed for an hour or two? Why, if this girl is mine, does her mother refuse me the time to bond? I'm sure her mother will come up with that it is MY fault due to having left the state after her mother took her from me when she left me over something said online which she had no business in the first place reading over my shoulder which is a sure sign to me she never did have trust with me. Wouldn't be the first time, which I will explain later. No, I honestly think that girl she had is for someone else. I can't prove it without a blood test done, but the facts just don't add up. With what I explained, plus the fact I surely remember not being home the day that girl was conceived due to being at work at a temp agency, plus how quickly her mother wanted to leave from my son's birth mother's father's house after my birthday which was the day the girl was conceived, plus my son's birth mother's father's attitude changing toward the girl's mother just doesn't make any sense to me and points to the fact that maybe that girl is not mine but is in fact my son's birth mother's sister.
Now let's move on to my son and what this post is really all about. I have decided after two full months of dealing with my son acting like he does not have to listen to me after coming back from seeing his "half-sister?" with her mother as well as Cheryl Cunningham (the woman who refused to stand up for me after being adopted by her and that asshole who physically abused me) watching him, that my son is not going over there anymore. Of course the excuse given for him not listening to me was that it was MY fault due to having left him when I did. As soon as I asked where else I was supposed to go, the phone was quickly hung up because "my?" daughter's mother didn't want to hear the truth of why I had no choice when I did leave. Anyway, that only solves half of the problem of his not listening to me. The other half comes in to play with each and every day there was always someone going behind my back and undermining my authority by telling my son opposite of whatever I had told him along with trying to control me by telling me what I should or should not be doing when it comes to raising him. After two months of this, I have had enough. I am going to contact my son's birth mother's father and have him come and get my son to take care of him until I have a home (not on rent and not with anyone else) of my own. It will be a huge 5 bedroom home to where I can have a room for my son, a room for me, a computer room, a guest room, and a special room for all my fetish equipment. That room will be locked at all times and no one but me and my partner will be allowed inside. Only then will I be able to raise my son my way and with no one to interfere.
Anyway, I am done with all of this. It is causing me too much stress to have to worry about being both mother and father to my son, him refusing to listen to me due to people who are not standing behind me and teaching him not to obey me, and people who keep trying to control how I raise my son. It's time to stand up for myself and start making steps toward my own personal freedom.