I know it has been a very long time since I last posted a blog report here. I have been through hell and back since I decided to once again turn my wheels and continue my wandering ways. This time, it lead my to the great state of Texas in a town called Forney. From there, I would up in Downtown Dallas at a place called Dallas Life Foundation. I stayed for a week before I got conned into getting out of there and staying a weekend in Buckner with someone who pretended to be my friend only to leave me stranded at the Wal-Mart near his motel and take all my belongings except for the clothes I had on.
You think that I would learn from that experience, but I foolishly ran to some supposed to be Christians for help. They did take me in and give me food and clothing, but the price for that was to be accused of not being saved when I knew in my heart I was all because I didn't believe what they were trying to spread about their beliefs. They tried to tell me that I didn't know the "true" God nor the "true" Jesus because I don't feel that fear is the ONLY path to get to know them. I don't believe that once you are saved you have to literally walk on egg shells and give up all means of fun like going dancing, going see a movie or bowling with friends, or anything like that. Then, they told me I either had to believe like them or leave. Of course, after giving them one thought that God put in my heart to give them, I left. The thought I gave them was that no path to righteousness should ever be forced on anyone. They argued that Jesus and God did force people to believe in them, but I wonder what bible they got that from. The bible I know says that we have a choice to believe or not. It also says to LOVE the Lord your God, not fear Him, and John 3:16 says, "For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son that whosoever BELIEVES in Him shall not die, but have everlasting life. From those two scriptures I see that belief in the Lord and Love of the Lord are the only two things I need to do.
After I left them, I once again found myself in Downtown Dallas for a night. The next day, my friend Casandra decided to get me some help since I was ready to kill myself to end all my suffering. She took me to Timberlawn Mental Hospital, and I stayed there close to a full month. After my stay there, I ended up in Mesquite, which is very close to where my journey began. I am currently still in Mesquite.
With that update out of the way, I can get down to the true subject of this blog. Christmas is once again upon us, and many are actually rejoicing this holiday season. There are others who, like me, are experiencing holiday blues. I can't speak for them and say why they are, but for me, holidays are a constant reminder of how I'm no longer a child and getting older by the years. Holidays are no longer as fun as they used to be for me because it is the children of the world that get the most attention during the holidays. Even my roommate, Tim, said it best yesterday when he said that Christmas is more for the children than the adults. I would just love for one time to be able to have a chance to celebrate Christmas as a child. I'm not talking about being able to have that fun by watching another child having Christmas fun. My Christmas wish is to be viewed as a child and given the same Christmas attention the regular children get. Of course, that can never happen because I am an adult, and no one will ever except an adult acting like a child, nor will they ever treat one as such. This is the reminder I get every Christmas when children get their toys, and I end up getting nothing.
With that said, I say Bah Humbug! to those who would wish me a merry Christmas, but Merry Christmas to those whom this holiday still means something to.
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