The greatest thing that happened to me since I last posted was that the medication that was holding back my inspirational side was decreased allowing me to finally have the motivation flowing once again. It also has freed me from a slump of almost zombie-like will. In other words, I no longer feel like doing nothing, and am rather getting slowly better at finding things that keep me interested and no longer completely depressed to the point of not wanting to do anything at all. It is the lowering of that one medication that has truly set my mind back on track and given me confidence to face my fears and finally talk to mommy about them. Now my heart yearns to finally meet her in person and go from there.
Mommy told me she understands that I am having financial troubles keeping me from getting to her and is not at all fearing that I am one of those who just disappear at the very notion of meeting in person after being so adamant about wanting to meet getting this person's hope up only to not go through with it. This was one of my worries along with the other one previously mentioned. I was afraid she may begin to think I was such a person, but after speaking to her about it, I realize the fear was most likely an irrational one.
Not only has all of this been getting better, but my natural writing ability has begun to flow again to where I can write amazingly at the spur of the moment once more and no longer struggle to come up with what to write or how I want it presented. Even now as I write this post, the words are flowing so freely that it is like magic that what I want to say is not as hard to type minus the few errors I am having typing so fast as I try to get it down as it pops in my head. I love this, and I know that it won't be fully better for a while since I still have most of the medicine I was taking still in my system, but once my body re-adjusts to what I take now, I will be able to write amazing novels and poetry as i once was able to. My only thing to do now is to get the novels and poems I wrote years ago from my old home in Louisiana and put them together with what I write now to finally work on getting them published. Then, I can sell my works and possibly make lots of money off of them to finance my dream of becoming a wrestler. I now believe I am on the right path to success and can overcome any obstacle in my way.
I will leave you all now with a poem that is just coming to me as I write:
Free As The Wind
No longer must I hold back the flow
of a talent I had held back so long ago.
My days are now brighter than I've ever seen.
The sky is now a deeper blue and grass a colorful green,
but my world was once dark and full of pain
leaving me searching for light amid the rain,
but then the stone was graciously lifted,
and I found myself once again gifted
to write the words speeding through the mind.
I now have acquired the freedom I sought to find.
To think that I was once at such a great loss
and just hanging around like the Cyprus tree's moss
all due to the inspiration at a time being blocked
by a medication wrongly keeping the door locked.
I am free as the wind on a nice Spring day,
and I vow I shall continue to keep it that way.
Take care and be safe always everyone.
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