March 23- Today Is A Good Day To Die

Today is a good day to die and death to me would be such sweet surrender. I'm so tired of just surviving one attack after another. I've been beaten, broken, torn apart, burned, shot, crapped on, chewed up, spit out, and tossed to the curb like gutter trash. Each time, I rose up from the ashes and tried to climb back up to the top only to have the cycle begin again. There comes a point where even a phoenix gives up the ghost and ceases to exist. That time is upon me now. What's this life for? Why should I continue living when everyone or everything I ever love ends up with me losing them, having to give them up, or them turning their backs on me and putting me through yet another cycle of hell? There have been a few who have always cared and had my back, but not enough of them to show me that there is still good enough reason to continue fighting. What is the meaning of life? To me, it is pain, suffering, heartache, turmoil, physical abuse, neglect, mental abuse, verbal abuse, betrayal, lies, mother's that neglect their children or force the father out of their kids life by being too controlling, and even sexual abuse by a foster mother to her 3 year old foster child. I've had some good times, but more bad times than anyone else could have ever been able to handle. I'm amazed I've even survived this long when so many would have given up if they had gone through everything I have. Christians claim God does not give you more than you can handle, but I beg to differ. This so-called God of theirs sure has given me more than I can handle. Today is truly a good day to die. Farewell to all those who actually do give a damn whether I live or die and to all my readers.